by Tess on August 24, 2010
Shaking up the closure of my third decade on planet earth with a little salsa dancing.
There’s an unsettling in my gut. It’s like a creepy, twitching sensation of something not quite right. Problem is I can’t put my finger on it… exactly. I am a like a balloon floating up in to the sky. The higher I get, the smaller the world looks below. And to make matters worse, in less than four days I turn 39. This is it. One last year of life in my 30s before I cross over into the old-age abyss. Let’s face it, opportunity isn’t going to be knocking on my door unless I get out there and shake things up.
Which is why I am following in the footsteps of a fellow colleague at work who also turned 39 this week? At lunch today she cited off a mile long list of “firsts” she has accomplished in the last few weeks from eating deep fried cheesecake to laying down laminate floors in her house. I like her take-the-bull-by-the-horns mentality.
We often get comfortable in our lives to the point we get complacent. Everyday we get up, go to work, go home, and do our chores, performing the exact same routine like robots. Where is the adventure in that? I’ve never been one for monotony. I need to go off and have an adventure once and while to keep life interesting and fresh. The older I get, the more adventure I need. But to get it, sometimes, you have to create it for yourself.
So for my birthday I am going to try something completely new that I’ve never done before. I’m going to get dressed up to the nines, shuffle my feet, and shake my fanny and learn to salsa dance. And that’s just a start.
Today I truly realized I can’t wait for things to happen. I really have to make them happen. If I had to wait for a yes from that person or a no from that person or money to come along to do things I want, I’d never get anywhere. It’s about time I take-the-bull-by-the-horns too!
So on the cusp of turning 39 this coming Saturday, I’m putting myself first. Doing what is right for me. No more pussy-footing and skirmishing around the issues. No more dancing along the periphery of possibility. I’m getting real. It’s time to get down to work. It’s time to do the work. It’s time to make it happen; to be successful, fulfilled and happy. Hear that universe. I’m ready. Watch out!
This year….No.39…is going to be my best yet.
by Tess on August 16, 2010
We often think we only have one soul mate in life. The fact is we have many.
I used to think that things happened in life just because. That there was no rhyme or reason for why a particular person would enter your life at the right time to help peel back your layers and bring to light something you’d been struggling to realize or work through.
This person miraculously stands in front of you, like a mirror, forcing you to take inventory of yourself, to get you to confront the deeper questions that need asking but are hard to ask. They pull you out of your denial so you can grow and evolve.
In the last month the universe has been aligning me with new people. I’m convinced these people were brought into my life recently as “soul mates.” To me, a soul mate is any person who enters your life to teach and bring you to a higher level of awareness and being. The meeting up may be perfectly accidental or by chance. However, if you’re more like me you will tend to believe that the universe is playing matchmaker and that this meeting up is completely pre-determined.
I first stumbled across this concept of soul mate when I read the book “Eat, Pray, Love,” after leaving my marriage. Elizabeth Gilbert, the author, embarks on a journey to Italy, India and finally Bali to learn about herself and rediscover pleasure, prayer and love again. While on her journey, she crosses paths with certain people who serve as guides in her quest for self-discovery.
One man she meets while seeking God at an ashram in India is Richard. Elizabeth is torn over her young lover boyfriend, David, because she’s convinced he is her soul mate. In actuality he’s more like Mr. Rebound Guy. But Richard offers Elizabeth a different definition of what a true soul mate is:
“A soul mate sometimes enters our life as someone to stir us up. To hold up the mirror so that we can see ourselves more clearly and antagonize us and make us so uncomfortable that we have to change because we can’t continue to look at the same thing because we’re looking at it clearly now. This is the reason a soul mate may not last forever. The encounter is so intense and so clarifying that we burn through those things quickly.”
How beautiful is that?
When I left my marriage I wasn’t ready to look inwards very far. My wounds were still too raw and open. But now two years later, after watching the movie of the book, I miraculously find myself embarking on a similar type of journey. I’ve met amazing new friends in the last month who have taught me so much and enriched my life beyond ways I could have ever imagined. My journey may not lead me to some tropical destination, but I’m definitely heading somewhere that is just as sweet, warm and enlightening.
I’m learning from these new people in my life many things. One is that love is multi-faceted. When for most of my life loving felt hard, I’m trying to learn now that loving can be easy and effortless if you just open up your heart. Love that has no expectations or restriction; love without drama, struggle, heartache or pain. For years I’d been convinced that the harder I loved, the deeper and more passionate love was. Learning to love in this new way isn’t easy for me and it is taking a lot of conscious discipline but it’s worth it.
I’ve also met a real soul mate in a new, younger female friend. She is feisty and the spark of energy I need to jolt my life. She is teaching me to think for myself, to be a free spirit and live life on my own terms—that when it comes to defining what I want for myself, I am the master of my destiny. I love her adventurous spirit, her ability to sense whether my energy is low or glowing. She simply gets me with no drawn-out explanation required. Our relationship is built on a kindred connection and I feel like I’ve known her for years…not weeks.
So I advise you to open your heart and listen. The universe may just pull someone into your life that will teach you something completely awe-dropping about yourself, the world, and your place in it. And who knows, you may also have the power to reflect back and teach your soul mate a thing or two.
I leave you with a poem about soul mates by Emily Matthews.
If you have found a smile
that is the sweetest one you’ve known,
If you have heard, within a voice,
the echoes of your own,
If you have felt a touch
that stirs the longings of your heart,
And still can feel that closeness
in the moments you’re apart,
If you have filled with wonder
at the way two lives can blend
To weave a perfect pattern
that is seamless, end to end,
If you believe some things in life
are simply meant to be,
Then you have found your soul mate,
your heart’s own destiny.
